I ate at the Asbury Park worm-gate restaurant last night and it was delicious

Outside Stella Marina on the boardwalk in Asbury Park. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

By Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media

Jen Morzano lived a diner's nightmare.

You've no doubt heard it by now: At Stella Marina, a well known restaurant on the Asbury Park boardwalk, Morzano decided she would have the cod, please and thank you.

Cut to the freaking worm. A live worm. Writhing and waving to her from inside her half-eaten fish.

The staff was apologetic and reduced Morzano’s bill by a third. (An unfortunate cod-orderer at another table got a worm that night, too.)

But wait, there was a video. A video that rivaled the chestburst scene from "Alien." 'Twas the video that launched a thousand vomit emojis and gag GIFs. How we all wish we could unsee that video, cod willing.

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The codforsaken video. Watch if you dare.

A Facebook post Morzano's boyfriend tagged to Stella Marina went viral faster than you can say DEAR GOD, WHAT'S COMING OUT OF THAT FISH. Naturally.

In response, the restaurant issued an epic non-apology apology (even by 2018 standards, which is a high bar). They said it's a common occurrence in cod. (It is.)

But they also got defensive, called it a "callousness and irresponsible reaction of an attorney of law to attempt to destroy our reputation & possible livelihoods due to something that could have happened to anyone, whether cooking at home or in a restaurant."

It was a bad look. (They’ve since removed these posts.)

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via GIPHY

But from the heat in their Yelp reviews over the past few days, you'd think Stella Marina was serving puppy parmesan. A smaller tribe of armchair marine biologists and seemingly anyone who has ever fished ever defended the place, explaining in the comments that with cod, sometimes comes worms. (They're right; more on this later.)

I barely survived that video. I covered my face with my hands and snuck glances through my fingers. I yelled "no, no, no, no, no, NO! NO!" at my screen, at the invention of the internet, at cod everywhere. It was the scariest thing I've seen since my tax bill.

That's when my editor told me to go there for dinner.

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Smh GIF from Nope GIFs

What in the Asbury Park are cod worms anyway?

I wish I never knew, but here goes. They’re a parasite. They’re also called nematodes. (Shudder.) If you really want to know, they’re part of a lifecycle that involves seal feces and is affected by the seal population.

They're a fish-only parasite that's most likely not going to do any serious harm to a human — not like that insane tale about the sushi-loving Fresno guy who pooped out a five foot tapeworm, which sounds like an urban legend and is what I think we're collectively scarred from.

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Just how common are these damn worms?

Common.

Though any dramatic videos of them wiggling out of someone's fish will always make the news. It's happened with fish from Fairway, and Costco, and even, oh lordy no, Whole Foods. If you eat a lot of cod — or halibut or monkfish or hake or haddock or flounder or any other bottom-feeding fish — chances are you've eaten one.

And just look at this Vice story, headlined: "Every kind of wild fish is infected with worms."

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Here's Helen, who does a better job explaining than I can.

Shouldn't they have seen the worm before serving it?

I went deep down the rabbit—err, worm hole, for you folks on this one. I watched more than an hour of YouTube videos of these nematodes, all nearly identical to Morzano’s worm, squirming their way out of different kinds of fish. I watched, amazed, as a YouTuber named Helen calmly removed them from her fillet and continued to cook and eat it — which is how people who handle a lot of cod (aka not most of us) deal with these things. For more than 60 minutes, I yelled at the screen while my dog wondered what in the hell was wrong with me. You’re welcome.

My conclusion: These guys are teeny. They’re embedded in the flesh. Even shining a light through the fish to find them (it's called candling) doesn't always work. They’re harder to see and feel than a fishbone and fish gets accidentally served with fishbones all the time. Could one go missed? Absolutely.

Is this the hill we’re going to make Stella Marina die on?

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Stella Marina from the boardwalk. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

Shouldn't the cooking have killed it?

Yes, all you wannabe FDA regulators are right, the cooking guideline is to reach a 145-degree internal temperature for fish like cod. But ask a chef — at that temp, that’s a well-done piece of fish. And guess what? If you’ve ever eaten a steak cooked anywhere under medium, you’ve broken the FDA guidelines too, you, reckless epicurean, you.

If the ultimate fish sin is overcooking it, you can understand why every fish most certainly does not make it to 145 degrees. Did Stella Marina undercook it? Maybe.

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A look down the Asbury Park boardwalk. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

A perfect night for seafood down the Shore

Say what you want, but Asbury is truly one of the coolest, most beautiful (but still gritty), most Jersey places in Jersey and last night it was like the city was in on the gig, putting on a show for me, helping to redeem its fallen comrade.

I’ll take that hour drive down the Parkway, traffic-less on a Tuesday, over the mighty Driscoll Bridge for a weekday dinner any summer night. It’s already August. Soak it in, folks.

Asbury charms from every turn near Stella Marina’s spot on the boardwalk with murals and the Atlantic and a sunset that repaints the sky every minute. You could stock your Instagram feed for days.

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The view from the bar. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

The restaurant was pretty dead, though

Unlike the worm. (Too soon?) There were just a handful of diners inside and the outdoor patio was about a third full. At the bar, the lovely bartender, Erica, said she was recovering from a busy happy hour crowd — (and, though she didn’t say it, the news vans that had descended). It had been a day.

She apologized and said it would be a minute before she could serve us. We waited. I had the Citronage Paloma — Patron Silver, Cointreau, fresh grapefruit juice, club soda, salt on the rim — and holy seashore was it delicious. Like a margarita but not as sweet. I usually try to roam the drink menu on a review, but nope. You stick with a winner like this.

When we got the bar tab, she comped the first round to make up for making us wait, all, oh, four minutes we waited. A steep $24 comp. I was impressed. How to forget a day of watching worm videos? Two Citronage Palomas.

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Go drink this: The Citronage Paloma. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

Are they still serving cod?

No, of course they're not serving the damn cod. They removed it from the menu citing "an abundance of caution."

We started with two apps — the burrata ($17) and the crostini ($14), which were both really tasty and beautifully plated. The burrata was served with yellow tomatoes, olive tapenade, pine nuts, basil oil. The crostini with prosciutto, ricotta, pears, balsamic on Italian bread. I tried to pace myself but failed miserably.

(By the way, I paid for the meal and no one knew I was from NJ.com.)

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The burrata appetizer with yellow tomatoes, pine nuts, olives, balsamic. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

We shared the mushroom ravioli ($25) as a pasta course and it was very good. (Knowing we were sharing, they even served it on two plates, as a decent restaurant should.)

An air-conditioning vent directly above us dripped water onto the table every seven minutes or so and we planned to ask to move to the table next to us, but then the food started to come and it was so good we just put up with the drip and arranged dishes so it didn’t land anywhere that mattered.

But I was here to eat risky fish. Possibly cod-worm-infested fish. The Scottish salmon ($29) was as close as I could get.

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The salmon dish at Stella Marina. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

It was wonderful — flaky and moist and cooked perfectly and placed atop a bed of spinach, crispy potatoes, tomatoes, pine nuts. It was summery and light, and I’m not even a big salmon gal.

We also ordered the chicken Milanese ($29) on the recommendation of Erica the bartender who said she gets it every day for lunch. This was a standout. A super crunchy but not greasy breading. I rarely order Milanese because who wants salad for dinner, but this was a delight.

For dessert, the lemon cheesecake ($10). It tasted more like key lime pie and was fine but forgettable. Still, all around, a delicious meal.

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The mushroom ravioli. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

The service

Our waitress, Katherine, told us she was once a kindergarten teacher and that tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Katherine. (Waitstaff should all be required to teach a few days of kindergarten.) She was patient, sweet, unpretentious, friendly, prompt. She had excellent suggestions, navigated my questions (and bluffed well on the stumpers). She was cheerful and unhurried even when we were the only table left sitting inside at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday.

She pointed out the caper berry I overlooked as garnish on the Milanese dish and suggested I try it. I’d never had a caper berry. (It was tasty, like a pickle and an okra had a baby.) What a culinary adventure this was, with Katherine at the helm.

At some point she acknowledged the emptiness, saying, “It’s like you rented out the place to yourselves, right?” with a smile — but she never gave away what had happened.

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An empty dining room by about 10 p.m., though several diners still were eating outside - and it was a Tuesday, remember. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

What was Stella Marina's reputation before worm-gate?

When my colleague and AP expert Bobby Olivier ranked all 35 restaurants in town in May, Stella Marina landed at number six. Complimentary newspaper reviews hang on plaques at the front entrance. None other than The New York Times has called it "very good" and one of only two dubbed "best overall" in their "New Jersey Dining Highlights of 2009."

There were some critical online reviews timestamped prior to worm-gate and after 2009. Issues with service, apparently. Some allegations of unclean dinnerware. But plenty of glowing reviews, too. The lively boardwalk atmosphere helps. Overall, it was a well-regarded place.

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A quiet night on the boardwalk in Asbury Park. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

Is everyone talking about worm-gate?

What do you think?

The Washington Post wrote about it, for cod's sake. On the boardwalk we overheard one passing group:

“What kind of fish was it?”
“I think it was cod.”

Oof.

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Stella Marina from the boardwalk. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

The bottom line

Here’s my post-meal take, significantly mellowed out from the harsher one I had before I actually, ya know, ate their food.

They screwed up. Not even so much for not catching the worm or not cooking the fish to the FDA-recommended temperature. Stella Marina screwed up when they got mad at these traumatized diners for posting the video — even though, we all get how upsetting and damaging such a video would be for a restaurant.

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This is where a public relations pro should have advised the opposite of what they did: Truly take the fault. Genuinely apologize. Comp the whole meal, not a third of it, for heaven’s sake. Give them a gift certificate to come back another time.

I’d say Stella Marina’s not off the hook yet when it comes to making this right.

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But should Stella Marina die a slow death on the Asbury Park boardwalk? No.

New Jersey, you do not want this. You know that old saying: Don’t throw the restaurant out with the nematode water. This could have happened somewhere else. It’s a risk you take with cod. The most important thing about a restaurant is the damn food and judging from my meal and the other reviews, save this single incident, the food at Stella Marina is good.

So go have a bite. Do it for Erica and do it for Katherine and do it for yourself. And do it because it's August and this is Jersey and Labor Day is coming.

Then let us know how it goes.

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