Jesus' Cell Phone Found!

NBC science news report

: Turkish archaeologists excavating an old church site have unearthed a stone chest which they claim contains a relic that may be part of the cross on which Jesus was crucified.

NBC science news report

(Those Turkish archaeologists. Remember they recently discovered the site of Noah's Ark? Oh, this isn't like that bogus discovery of the Ark reported there decades earlier.)

Okay, I realize that this indicates we are on the verge of creating a tourist attraction to match Lourdes and the Shroud of Turin.

But that's nothing! I had the most realistc dream—a vision, really. I dreamt that archeologists had found Jesus' cell phone!

All right—I can hear people scoffing. But, remember, there are doubters of the miracles at Lourdes and of the authenticity of the Turin shroud (the fools!).

Here's the proof. Right there on the phone are the numbers of Mary Magdalene, Peter and Paul! That's right, Bethlehem 2746, Jerusalem 97801, and Nazareth 86415.

In fact, there are phone messages!

"Hey, Jesus, this is Thomas. I've been thinking—are you really the Messiah, or just a skinny guy in a robe with a halo and a good line of patter? Talk to you later."

"Jesus—I'll see you after the foot-washing. I miss you so much, I plan on giving you a big kiss! Oh, this is Judas."

"Jesus, Peter and Paul out on the road. No, Mary isn't with us. We wanted to tell you we're your biggest fans—we're spreading the word. We'll be seeing you, if only in our dreams!"

"Jesus of Nazareth? This is the Imperial tax collector. Could you get down to the office to pay what you owe Caesar? Thanks, we look forward to seeing you soon—if you know what's good for you."

"Say, Jesus. We're here at Cana in Galilee. We're having a party, and I hate to say—we've run out of wine. Any way you could help us out?"

But here's the biggest news of all!

"Jesus, sweetie, this is Mary M. I've lined up the rabbi for the wedding and assembled my trousseau. I can't wait to see you! I love you, honey buns."

Well, I guess that'll settle one old religious-historical dispute!

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P.S.

The thing i find most

xoleuess

The thing i find most interesting about the rather childlike mentality of the progressives is that while all manner of ridicule will be attempted. And of course the hall mark of all intellectual conversations, name calling.

But never will they confront the beast...

Why not?

Afraid?

You'll have to forgive me!

Stanton Peele

Like a good Christian should. I'm Jewish! I hope this doesn't disqualify me from commenting on Jesus' life—I know Muslims, like Reza Aslim, aren't allowed to speak of Him! By the way, according to Adam Gopnik (may not be a Christian!) in the New Yorker:

Aslan’s work, though original in detail, echoes the conclusions of the writer and scholar John Dominic Crossan in its vision of a “peasant cynic” Jesus: a rabble-rouser, a political radical, and an extreme Jewish nationalist—a Zealot, who infuriated the Romans and got the horrible Roman punishment for insurrection. This Jesus ran a kind of family-cult synagogue in Jerusalem, which was passed on to his brother James, who then got mostly written out of the record after Paul’s more Roman-friendly Christianity took the stage.

Blasphemy!

By the way, apropos of my comment on a posting about a miracle in PT Blogs by one of psychology's leading figures, Ellen Langer, Gopnik notes this about the life of Jesus:

Aslan, to his credit, is candid about the truth that Jesus the wonder-worker and miracle-doer is more prominent in the Gospels than any other Jesus. And as a scholar, he seems, implicitly, to subscribe to the one rational argument about all miraculous events: in billions of years of the earth’s existence, there is not a single credible instance in which the laws of nature have been abrogated, but, in the sixty thousand years Homo sapiens have been around, there are innumerable instances in which people have made up stories about such abrogations to impress other people with the virtues of their favorite king or god.