DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Kino ver.]
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Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [キノ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 7 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tomoaki Maeno

Translator’s note: I went into this fully expecting a repeat of Kou with Kino setting the kitchen on fire but he’s actually a decent cook??? It was also really cute how he wants to be more independent and stop relying on Yuuri to do everything for him. I swear this guy keeps on winning me over again and again ever since I played his Lost Eden route.

Kino burst into the room.

*Thud*

“…God! What does he mean ‘You can’t do it, Kino’…!? Who does he think I am, huh!?”

You ask him what’s wrong.

“It’s very simple! I was looking for a change of pace and casually offered to make a meal…but what do you think Yuuri said in response to that? …That it’s impossible for me! I can cook though! It’s just that I usually choose not to!”

You tell them it’s not good to fight.

“We’re not fighting or anything…Well, I guess it’s true that I don’t exactly cook very often. Yuuri does it for me after all. But he didn’t have to just flat out doubt my capabilities like that! Aah…It pisses me off! Can’t I get back at him somehow? …Right! You’re a pretty good cook, aren’t you?”

You suspect that he might want you to teach him.

“Yes, exactly! …Teach me! How to cook!”

You seem hesitant.

“…Are you going to tell me that I can’t as well?”

You tell him that it’s too late to cook now.

“Who cares that it’s the middle of the night? Besides, I’m a Vampire, so I’m active during this time of day. …Ah-aah…That really stings. You’ll have to do something now to make up for this emotional pain.”

Kino approaches you.

*Rustle*

“So…Where do you want me to bite you? It would seem to me that you’re dying to have me give you a taste of pain, so I’ll gladly take you up on that offer?”

You protest.

“I won’t wait. So, where do you want my fangs? Ahー Perhaps I should go for your ear? It’s a very sensite spot, so I’m sure it’ll hurt a lot?”

You continue to fight back.

“Then…You’ll teach me, right? I don’t care about the dish itself.”

You agree.

“There we go. You should have just nodded in agreement from the beginning.”

*Rustle*

“Well then, let’s go to the kitchen then. Just a heads up, pick something fancy but possible for me to make, okay?”

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

“You’ve started…lining up some strange things. These odd vegetables and…cheese? What are we going to make with these?”

You refuse to tell him for now.

“That’s something to look forward to? Okay, sure. I guess I’ll follow your instructions this once. ーー So, where should I start?”

*Rustle*

“What…is this?”

You tell him.

“Eh? This is lotus root!? I had no idea it had this sort of shape…”

*Rustle*

“Oh, you’re right! Now that you mention it, the cross-section looks like lotus root! I should slice it, right?”

You tell him he has to cut it thinly.

“Eeeh? You have so many requests. Yeah, I know. I’ll cut thin slices.”

You tell him the amount you need.

“One hundred gram!? So what does 100 gram of lotus root look like exactly!? Could you stop giving me all the difficult tasks!?”

*Cling*

“Hmph…God. I’ll just wing it…”

*Chop chop chop*

“About this much?”

You praise his knifework. 

“Guess so. I mean, obviously I know how to use a knife. So, what’s next?”

You turn on the stove.

“Ah…We’re going to bake these? …You can hear the sound of the oil sizzling. Can I add the lotus root now?”

You give him instructions again.

“There you go asking complicated things again…Fine. I should line them up leaving as little gaps as possible…and bake them until the surface is crispy, right?”

*Pshhh*

*Rustle*

“Mmh! Looking good! It’s got a nice brown color and gives off a rich fragrance. What should I do next?”

*Rustle*

“Are these leftovers from dinner? Can I put them on?”

You nod.

“Then I’ll place these bite-sized pieces of bacon all around…and sprinkle the finely chopped pieces of tomato on top as well, okay? The rings of green pepper as well. …Mmh! A nice array of colors! As to be expected of me! Why don’t we add in some konpeito as well while we’re at it? I really like these ones!”

*Cling cling*

“See? Aren’t they pretty? I’m very fond of the star shape as well. Let’s try mixing it in here!”

You stop him.

*Rustle*

“Eeh~? Party pooper! …Fine then. …So, what comes next?”

You had him a bag of grated cheese.

“Oh? This is…grated cheese, no? Eeh? But if we put this on top, it’ll ruin the nice color palate we had going on, no? …Ah, right! The key is to put an even, thin layer! …I’ll put it on top then, okay?”

Kino adds the cheese.

“Sprinkle it all over…”

*Rustle*

“There! It’s starting to melt, look! Uwah~! It looks really delicious already!”

You tell him that it’s not quite ready yet.

“Fine. I’ll put on the lid, okay?”

*Cling*

“Now we just wait, right? I’ve gotten kind of hungry even though I had dinner earlier. Well, I guess I don’t technically need to eat since I’m a Vampire but I can’t wait for the finished product!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Cling*

“Uwah! It looks scrumptious! Although you can tell by the scent alone that it’s going to be delicious. Is it done now?”

You nod and plate it.

*Cling*

“Hooray! It’s done! …Quick and easy, lotus root pizza!”

You seem surprised that he could tell what it’s based on.

“It’s pretty obvious that it’s meant to be a pizza. This is the first time I’ve seen someone use lotus root for the crust though. Say…Why don’t we give it a little taste before we go show it to Yuuri? It’s really tempting me.”

You give him permission.

“Hehe~ Well then…Time to dig in~!”

Kino takes a bite.

“Mmh…Nn…Mmh~! What’s this!? Holy shit! It’s super delicious!”

You ask him if he really likes it that much.

“Yeah! It’s out of this world! The lotus root crust is really crispy! Even though it’s thin, because it’s been crisped up in the pan, it has a really rich flavor. Kind of like vegetable chips…? 

I really like the melted cheese on top as well! You should eat it while it’s still piping hot. Similar to a cheese fondue, I love how the cheese wraps around the vegetables and brings out the sweetness! 

Also, the smoky aroma from the bacon has seeped into the lotus root. The fat from the meat melts inside your mouth…”

*Crunch*

“Mmh…Delicious!”

You say that you’re glad he likes it.

“Mm~ Way to go! You hit the nail on the head by choosing this recipe! It’s easy to make and delicious. Just like what I asked for!”

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

“Huh? Is that…jelly?”

*Rustle*

“Uwah! There’s konpeito inside! So pretty…It looks like stars floating in the sky.”

You ask if he likes it. 

“Of course I like it! I was wondering what you were up to earlier, but you were making this, huh? You really are a great asset with how you’ll take all of my requests into account. What more could a man ask for (1)?”

You get flustered.

“What are you blushing for? I honestly wouldn’t mind marrying you right here, right now?”

You panic even more. 

“Hahaha! What are those weird movements for? Honestly, I never grow tired watching you. …Oh well, let’s leave that topic for another day.”

*Cling*

“I’m positive Yuuri will be shocked when he sees this table!”

You agree.

“Mmh. …Well, I know this all started after I got into an argument with Yuuri but I actually had one more reason to want to cook. I realized that I should start becoming more independent little by little…I decided to stop thinking in terms of ‘a master and his servants’, remember? I don’t want to use Yuuri as a personal butler forever, you see. That’s why I gotta at least be able to cook by myself.”

You chuckle.

“What are you grinning for? It’s creepy. Are you mocking me, perhaps?”

You shake your head.

“I wonder. …This is your punishment for making me upset.”

*Cling*

“Here, say ‘aahn’.”

You refuse.

“I’m not taking no as an answer. Now open your mouth?”

*Rustle*

“Fufu, very obedient now, aren’t we? …Here you go, ‘aahn’.”

*Crunch*

“Good, right? I made it myself, so be sure to savor it thoroughly, okay?”

You nod.

“Right? Come on, feed me some as well.”

*Cling*

“Aahn~”

*Crunch*

“Mm…Mmh…Yeah, delicious! If we eat too much, there will be none left but…Oh well! We’ve still got plenty of ingredients left, so we can always make a new batch! I want to share the very first dish I made together with you anyway. …Right~?”

ーー THE END ーー 

Translation notes

(1) Kino calls her a ‘ryousai kenbo’ which literally means ‘good wife, wise mother’ and which is kind of seen as the ideal for woman in Japan and a lot of East-Asian countries. 

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