At a certain point in life, you earn the right to opt-out; enough orbits of the sun to find yourself comfortable asking, with a withering look, can we not do a little better? For Hugh Grant this moment arrived, right on time, at the Academy Awards last night. During a red carpet interview with Ashley Graham, Grant found himself trapped inside a thousand yard-stare, cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm music, kind of encounter. A moment that does more to explain the different between American and British people than studying 200 years of Anglo-American relations ever could.
“Hugh Grant you are a veteran of the Oscars,” Graham begins dramatically, but even that seemingly innocent icebreaker prompts an awkward laugh as you can see him trying to guess what she actually means. Sure, he's been to the event on a number of occasions but he's never been nominated for, let alone won an Oscar. You don't get to make avant-garde arthouse cinema like Paddington 2 by wasting your time pandering to the Academy, Ashley.
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“What is your favourite thing about coming to the Oscars?” she continues, at which point you can actually hear Grant's inner monologue asking himself why he isn't in bed. “The whole of humanity is here. It's Vanity Fair” he says finally, referring to the William Makepeace Thackeray novel about the shallow hypocrisies of high society. But Graham completely misunderstands him, thinking he means the magazine's after-party, nodding and saying, “That's where we let loose and have a little bit of fun.” A quick search of the internet suggests nobody has yet got the Hubble Telescope on Grant's expression as she says this but no need – you can see the light leaving his eyes from some distance.
Levitating off the floor in victory, the actress cemented her place as a no-context reaction trend legend
In fairness to Graham, why would she expect to be discussing a 736-page book from 1847 on the night where the most celebrated movie is a multiverse madness which features a ‘dynamite dildo fight scene’? Like Hugh, she's just trying to get through this – ‘this’ being an ABC red carpet segment that depends on relentless conversational filler. It is here that the conversation curdles into almost unbearable awkwardness as each question circles the drain.
“Are you excited to see anyone win? Do you have your hopes up for anyone?”
“No one in particular.”
Then, as she reaches for the seemingly safe subject of style:
“What are you wearing tonight then?"
“Just my suit.”
And finally, after an enquiry about his “3 second” appearance in Knives Out sequel Glass Onion:
“You showed up and you had fun, right?”
“Erm, almost.”
Grant is no stranger to the sarcastic interview and has become something of a counterculture celebrity figure in recent years thanks to his risqué tweets and open disdain for much of the UK press. Well, as much of a counterculture figure as you can be when you made your name starring in a film called Notting Hill. Though your heart goes out to Graham, really he should be commended for not entertaining the kind of meaningless drivel and pseudo-interviewing that we have come to expect and accept from red carpet interviews, where people are expected to fawn over their fellow celebrities and the designers who have dressed them.
This morning the internet seems to be divided into those who think it's rude to go to an event and give a half-arsed interview, and the British. As one person said in response to his bored bemusement: ‘Hugh will come to the event, but he will give you NOTHING.’ Which, frankly, sounds like the existential weariness of coming from the UK summed up in 12 short words.
