Any other year, the football-starved lizard brains of Premier League fans everywhere would by now be crying out for the bright green glow of televised football pitches, after the season’s appetiser – the Community Shield – would have reminded them, fleetingly, of what life was like before the end of the last season in May.
As it is, it feels like only yesterday that Liverpool lifted the trophy after a 30-year wait, at the conclusion of a season chopped in half by coronavirus lockdown. The break has been short, but all the sweeter for it, and now, with the 2020-21 incarnation of the Premier League upon us, GQ sat down with BT Sport pundit Peter Crouch (we’ve got our strictly TV hats on, so there will be no passing the pod) to discuss missing out on Messi, why he doesn’t think England’s stultifying game against Iceland was anything to worry about, and the emotional rollercoaster of Scott Parker’s managerial career so far.
GQ: BT Sport is showing Fulham-Arsenal and Crystal Palace-Southampton on Saturday; what can we expect from those games?
Peter Crouch: I’m pleased with Scott Parker to have got Fulham up this year. He’s my age, and it’s great to see someone stepping into management and having such a first good first full season. What a test against Arsenal, as well. I thought they were fantastic in the Community Shield, I love what Arteta’s done. Having Premier League football back there [at Craven Cottage] we will be fantastic. So I’m looking forward to that game, but I have to say, I can’t see past Arsenal, unfortunately, in that one.
Did you see the Scott Parker video? Someone dubbed him over “Dry Your Eyes” by The Streets.
I did see it. These days you can't get away with anything, can you? It was emotional; I know how much he’s put into the season. He’s gone from having a football career where you're away quite a lot, and then straight into to being a manager. He’s had no break whatsoever, and I know it's taken its toll, shall we say, getting Fulham up to the Premier League, so hopefully he can go on and enjoy it.
It’s been an unusual start to the season; some clubs have had longer than others to prepare, and players have been playing internationals and European football until very recently. Will we see a sluggish start to the season?
I don’t think we'll see a sluggish start, but I think we'll see an unpredictable start before teams find their feet, and there might be a few surprise results. Maybe a lot of goals scored, maybe a few mistakes. You feel like towards the end games, as well, that there might be a lot of goals, with the fitness aspect. I still think we're gonna get the polished products, but I think we might see a few surprise results.
It’s difficult to predict surprises – you can’t really say “I think there will be a surprise result in this specific game.”
You can't predict surprises, but what I will predict is: I feel like Leeds are going to have a good season. I liked them last year. When I got relegated with Stoke, our first game of the next season was at Leeds. I was like, “Wow, who are these?” I just feel like Bielsa’s got them playing [well], they've got some good young players. They've got a good mix of ability and they’re solid. Sheffield United came up and surprised everyone, but I remember I played them the year before, and I remember thinking, “Honestly, these are a proper team,” and I think that about Leeds this year, so I think they could cause a few surprises.
How important will it be to their season that Bielsa has confirmed he’s staying on as manager last week?
With the Premier League, we love characters. We’ve seen it with Mourinho, with Klopp, with Guardiola. The characters we've got in the Premier League, certainly as managers, [Bielsa’s] just gonna add to it. It's the whole vibe. It was a bit soap opera at times last season, but it's what we love to watch. He's obviously a class manager; lots of top managers look up to him. But he's got that side to him as well, [where] he’s quite off-the-wall. I’m really looking forward to watching him.
Speaking of characters, it sounds like we just missed out on having Messi playing in the Premier League this season. Are you disappointed?
I would have liked it if he had gone anywhere. We want the best players in the world in the Premier League, and he’s the best player that has ever kicked a football. I would have loved him at City. I would love him anywhere, honestly. To see him live is a privilege. I want to tell my grandkids that I've been on the same pitch as him, playing. Any time you get a chance to see Lionel Messi play football is a dream. Certainly to have him in our country, playing football week in, week out, would have been something special so yeah, it's a shame.
Who’s had the best transfer window so far? Chelsea have spent a lot, obviously; have any transfers caught your eye?
Matt Doherty at Tottenham. I like him as a player. I think he's a class act and that could end up being a really solid, very good signing. Chelsea have spent a lot of money and I think Frank [Lampard] might be under more pressure now – I think every player they’ve signed is a class act. We saw it when Villa signed a lot of players last season, and they just didn't gel; it didn't click. But I think [given] the standard, the calibre of players that Chelsea have signed this season, they will do and I think they’ll be a much improved side. Werner, Havertz and Ziyech are absolute players.
What would count as a satisfactory finish for Chelsea this season? Will Frank be expected to challenge for the title?
No. I think that it will be an incredible achievement if they end up pushing City and Liverpool. I still think they’re behind them, but I think they'll be third. They'll expect to be third. I don't think they'll expect to be challenging, but if they are, then that will mean that Frank’s done a very, very good job.
And in terms of challenging, then, do Liverpool have the edge? Is it harder to defend a title after you’ve just won it?
It's the mentality. They've won it, City will be wounded, they'll be angry and they'll have wanted the season to start as soon as possible – they've got a real chance this season. I like the players who City have signed. Ake, at the back, was a good signing. The only difference between them and Liverpool last season, Liverpool just were more solid, defensively. It’s going to be interesting this year, but I feel like Liverpool have just got the edge.
Have Manchester United got the final top four place sewn up?
No, I don't think that's sewn up, I really don't. United would be favourites to finish fourth, but I like the look of Arsenal, I like what Arteta’s doing, and you can't write off teams like Sheffield United, like Wolves and Everton. Everton look good. I think there'll be more of a dogfight for that fourth spot, and let's be honest, that was probably the most enjoyable thing to watch last season. Everyone shooting out to finish fourth. United probably, for me, [are favourites] just to clip it, but I think it'll be very tight.
In terms of depth, do you think this is one of the strongest Premier League seasons we might ever see?
I do. Anyone can beat anyone, certainly in the top half of the league. Looking at it last year, with Leicester, with Wolves, with Burnley, with Sheffield United, those teams are capable of beating anyone. I think Leeds will come up and cause a few upsets, there's definitely a few surprise packages. Fulham, West Brom – no one knows how they're going to fare.
So Leeds, you think, will stay up – what about Fulham and West Brom?
It's so difficult to come up, isn't it, and stay in the league? Invariably, at least one of the promoted teams goes down. I think West Brom and Fulham have definitely got a real challenge on their hands. Anything above relegation is an incredible achievement, for those teams. Villa escaped last year, they spent a lot of money again, and I think if Ollie Watkins can replicate the form that he showed last season, then he might fire them out of it, but I expect them to be in the fight again.
Grealish just got his first England cap; will he be key again?
He’s crucial to Villa. There were rumours about him leaving and if he had left it would have been a huge blow for them. You saw how much of an influence he had last season. Playing for England, getting a cap, is certainly going to give him more confidence – I don't think he needs more confidence, but it's certainly going to help him. If he wants to get to the next level, he needs to be starting for England. I think he's got a good opportunity to do that, especially if he replicates what he did last season.
A lot of people thought the England game against Iceland was disappointing.
We can’t read too much into it. This season hasn't even started yet and they're playing an England game. It seems ridiculous. I can't remember ever doing that, even normally. Having had the short break and then playing for England, before the season even starts and you’re in the groove, seems a bit mad. We saw a lot of debutants, there were some good things that came out of it, and some average things, but what I wouldn't do is read too much into it, or worry too much about where England are before the season’s even started.
With discussions around fans going back to games, do you see 1,000 people at Old Trafford as any different to none, atmosphere-wise?
We live in strange times. It's weird with no one there, and it's weird with 1,000 there. The difference between no one and 1,000 is that at least there's 1,000 people happy to come and watch football. I'm not sure how you do it. Is it just the luck of the draw, whether you get in or not? But it's just what it is. We're lucky to have football. We're lucky that it's been organized and it's been safe, and we're all sitting here talking about football –we could all be sitting in our houses, not allowed out again. I suppose I'm a “glass half full” type person: we've got football, we should be happy. It could be a hell of a lot worse.
Make unlimited subs with flexible BT TV; Change your football packages, BT Sport, Prime Video & Now TV Sky Sports Pass, every month. Find out more at btsport.com/unlimited-subs
Why is modern football obsessed with nostalgia?
England’s new football kit has taken inspiration from “World In Motion”
Gareth Southgate: I carried Euro '96 with me for more than 20 years
