Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious (3f03)

You'll all be happy to know that I recently watched Mary Poppins in order to understand this episode more.

Blackboard Gag: I will not hide the teacher's prozac.

Couch Gag: The living room is totally empty and no one arrives. Here is the reason:

The epsiode begins with Krusty opening his Krusty Komedy Klassic at the Apollo Theater. He turns to see the unfortunate initials and lampshades this. The crowd is like:

That's low even for Krusty; the dude is Jewish!

Next, he tries the Dumb Pet Tricks bit. He gets a dog to catch a red rubber ball, but the dog bites Krusty's nose!

The Simpson family watches, and they want to change the channel. However, the remote is nowhere to be seen.

Grampa is using it as a cordless phone. When he doesn't get any sound, he uses "the old fashioned model," that is he accidentally gets an iron.

Back to Krusty's show, he has a parody of Mad About You called, "Mad About Shoe." It's basically him talking to a giant show.

Me and the audience:

Krusty then says they won't like his "NYPD Shoe" sketch; It's the same thing.

Bart asks Marge for a glass of milk, and Marge tells him to get it himself. Bart politely passes and decides "to go without liquid." After he makes a disgusting noise, Marge relents. While getting Bart milk she asks if anyone else wants anything, and the rest of the family denies. However, when she returns, Homer wants a beer.

When Lisa is going to say something, Marge snaps at her. Lisa sheepishly says there is a hair in her soup, and she'll just eat around it. When Marge asks what the hair looks like, Lisa shows:

Marge is upset over this and leaves the room. Homer promises to talk to her when a commercial break comes on.

In the show, Krusty interviews Gerald Ford. Ford gives out a speech, but Krusty finds it boring and makes funny faces at the camera. When Ford wonders what the fuck Krusty is doing, Krusty asks Ford about his wife, Nancy.

"Betty!"

"Who cares?" asks Krusty.

That night, Homer is about to snuggle with Marge when he gets a chunk of her hair!

This is followed by a montage of Marge's hair loss to the theme song of Hair the Musical.

She takes a shower when she sees a lot of it on the floor.

Snowball II coughs up a blue hairball.

Marge blowdries her hair when a ball flies horizontally.

Bart and Milhouse play Cowboys and Indians when a blue "tumbleweed" flies by.

In church, Marge's hair gets turned into a game of monkey in the middle with Jasper and Mrs Glick.

The next night, Homer is about to snuggle again when he sees Marge wearing a headscarf. She then reveals why she's wearing it:

Marge then tells him she's losing her hair. Homer promises to teach her to come it over so no one can tell, "Just like my hair."

That doesn't help Marge at all.

The next day, Marge goes to Dr Hibbert to find out the problem. Hibbert himself is stumped until Marge gets two phone calls from Bart and Lisa. They both ask for a glass of milk, and a chunk of hair falls out of Marge. Hibbert puts two and two together.

Marge returns home, and tells the family about the reson her hair was falling out. She says they should get help, ie hire a nanny to help around the house.

DELETED SCENE TIME

Homer denies bringing in a female goat into the house, but Lisa and Marge clarify that the latter meant a housemaid.

Homer wonders how they're going to pay for it, and Lisa says they'll make sacrifices to help with the budget. She'll stop buying Malibu Stacy clothing, and Bart "will take up smoking and give that up." Homer praises Bart for doing so and gives him a dollar. Lisa reminds Homer that Bart didn't do anything.

"Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? (beat) Wait a minute! HE DIDN'T!" he then takes the dollar back.

Homer then offers to give up "the civil war recreation society he loves so much."

Meanwhile, Moe needs a new General Ambrose Burnside, and Barney is none too crazy about who's playing Stonewall Jackson:

Now it's time for the applicants. First up is Mrs Pennyfeather. Homer seems suspicious ever since he watched Mrs Doubtfire. "THIS IS A MAN IN DRAG!" yells Homer and he attacks Pennyfeather.

Marge reminds Homer that if he keeps that up, they'll never find a nanny. Homer apologizes, but he chases of Mrs Periwinkle.

Next up is Kearney, who is actually a terrible applicant. Homer agrees on hiring him, but Marge is against it.

Later, Bart and Lisa have some ideas...

Lisa: We have our own suggestions for the new nanny. Would you like to hear them?

Homer: You have my undivided attention.

(Homer's brain says otherwise as it is playing a "Steamboat Willie" version of "Turkey in the Straw," which he hums along with.)

Marge: Well, I'd like to hear your suggestions.

Lisa: (to Bart) Maestro, if you please.

(Bart presses the play button on a boombox, which starts playing a cheery tune.)

Lisa (cont'd): If you wish to be our sitter, Please be sweet and never bitter, Help us with math and book reports.

Bart: Might I add: "Eat my shorts".

Lisa: Bart!

Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle.

Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her.

Bart: Let me get away with moider.

Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks.

Homer: Might I add: no fat chicks.

Marge: Homer!

Lisa: The nanny we want Is kindly and sage.

Homer: And one who will work For minimum wage.

Lisa: Hurry, nanny, Things are grim.

Grampa: I'll do it!

Bart and Lisa: Anyone but him!

Marge doesn't know anyone who can do all that, but look up in the sky...

The woman rings the doorbell, and Homer answers it. She introduces herself as Shari Bobbins. Homer asks if she meant Mary Poppins, but she denies this. She is "an original creation like Ricky Rouse and Monald Muck." She adds that she'll do everything from telling stories to changing diapers.

"Put me down for one of each," says Abe.

Now it's time for the interview. Shari has no bad habits, and her last employer was Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex.

Bart has a question: He's supposed to be doing his homework, but she finds him reading a Playdude. "What do you do? What DO you do?"

Shari replies that she'll make him read every article in the magazine "including Norman Mailer's latest claptrap about his waning libido."

Shari is hired. She then takes the children upstairs, and she slides UP the banister! Not only that, her butt waxed the banister!

Shari and the Simpson spawn look at Bart's messy room, and a familiar song starts up...

Shary Bobbins: All right, children. Let's clean up this room.

Bart: Aw, man.

Lisa: Do we have to?

Shary Bobbins: Now, now, I know a little secret that will make the job go twice as fast.

(singing)

If there's a task that must be done, Don't turn your tail and run. Don't pout, Don't sob, Just do a half-assed job. If you cut every corner, It is really not so bad. Everybody does it. Even Mom and Dad.

(she shows Homer putting an old sofa into Flanders' front lawn)

If nobody sees it, Then nobody gets mad.

Bart: It's the American way.

(they proceed to clean the room together with efficiency, but no detail at all.)

Shary Bobbins: The policeman on the beat Needs some time to rest his feet.

(in the park, Chief Wiggum is sitting while Snake robs Hans Moleman in the background.)

Chief Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea.

(In the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu cleans a dirty hotdog and an image of Shari Bobbins on a carton of milk sings along.)

Shary Bobbins' image: And the clerk who runs the store Can charge a little more For meat...

Apu: For meat...

Shary Bobbins: And milk...

Apu: And milk...

Shary Bobbins & Apu: From nineteen eighty-four.

(back in Bart's room, the room is totally clean.)

Shary Bobbins: If you cut every corner, You'll have more time for play.

Shary Bobbins and the Simpsons: It's the American way!!

Homer slams the door, and everything is messy again.

Next, Shari and the Simpson spawn visit the park, though they don't get transported into a cartoon world. What DOES happen though is that some Springfielders recognize her, and Nelson gives her some posies. Shari kisses him, and he blushes.

They then see Bert, I mean Groundskeeper Willie perform in a one man band, and he sings an awful rendition of Maniac By Michael Sembello. After drenching himself with water, the audience walks off. He then sees Shari and is surprised!

Lisa asks how the two know each other. Wille tells the Simpson spawn that he and Shari used to date, but then she got her eyesight back. "Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her."

"It's good to see you, Willie," says Shari.

Willie is like:

and bellows, "THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW ME!" He then stomps off in a huff.

Me:

They then pass a newspaper boy (possibly Kearney), and Principal Skinner, who is selling Jimbo Jones.

"Is this legal, man?" asks Jimbo.

"Only here and in Mississippi."

Later, Shari and the Simpson spawn fly kites together. Burns sees this and says, "Humbug!" Shari tells him that "all life's problems just float away when you're flying a kite."

Burns is about to disagree when he is giving the handle and string. He loves kite flying! He even tells Smithers that he feels "superduperfragilicalicexpiala-" Unfortunately, he doesn't finish because he gets a shock from a random bolt of lightning. Luckily, Burns survived. "God bless you, Shari Bobbins," says Burns.

DELETED SCENE TIME

Next up is to visit Patty and Selma. It's very boring in the apartment, and Shari says that there must be something that the Bouvier twins can do, and there is one thing. It's presented in song, though...

Patty: We love to smoke. (wheezes)

Selma: Till our lungs turn gray. We love to smoke. (wheezes)

Patty: 17 packs a day.

(Selma coughs)

Selma: We love to smoke! (chuckles, then hacks) Like a chim-chiminey.

Patty: Although, we'll croak (wheezes) Before 2003.

(Patty and Selma wheeze and cough until the end of the song)

Shari agrees to never visit that place again.

A few days later, Marge praises Shari's work. "The kids love her, the house is spotless, and my hair's grown back! It's so full and think it can support a beach umbrella!" Behold:

Homer then invites her to bed, but to leave the umbrella in.

That night, we come to another song...

Shary Bobbins: It's eight o'clock, children. Time for bed.

Lisa: But we're not sleepy.

Bart: Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins.

Lisa: Yes, sing us a song!

Shary Bobbins: I've been singing you songs all day, I'm not a bloody jukebox! Oh, all right.

(she gets out a snowglobe and begins to sing)

In front of a tavern, Flat on his face, A boozehound named Barney Is pleading his case.

(the scene shifts to Barney in front of Moe's Tavern during a flurry fall.)

Barney: Buy me a beer, Two bucks a glass. Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass! Buy me brandy, A snifter of wine. Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.

(Moe comes out brandishing a shotgun.)

Moe: Move it, ya drunk, Or I'll blast your rear end!

Barney: I've found two bucks.

Moe: Then come in, my friend.

(The two men go into the bar. The scene returns to bedtime.)

Shary Bobbins: And so, let us leave, On this heartwarming scene.

Bart: Can I be a boozehound?

Homer: Not till you're fifteen.

The next day, the family dines in the living room. Lisa asks Marge if she'd like more kippers. Shari then bids the family farewell, but once she closes the door...

the comes back in to see what else is happening:

Shari sees that this is a possibly indefinite stay, but that's not all...

Shari:

The next few days, the family treats Shari like a slave. Bart requests a little pepper, but she overdoes it.

The family watches a Before They Were Famous episode. We are seen footage of Rainier Wolfcastle during his childhood acting days in a commercial in his native Austria:

Strange. Shouldn't it have been in German?

Homer requests a beer from Shari and she starts to sing...

Shari: If there's a job that must be done, you'll find it's much more fun...

Homer interrupts and says it's more fun if she gets hit for him.

"But the beer will taste more sweet if you get up off your seat-"

Bart interrupts and reminds her that Homer requested a beer instead of a song, much to her chagrin.

Next we see young Charles Bronson filling in for Andy Griffith in The Andy Griffith Show.

It would've been more funny if Barney looked at the camera in disbelief if you ask me.

Later, Bart is sitting in his pigsty of a room when Shari tells him to clean it up, but Bart denies the suggestion. "Don't you remember?" asks Shari "Cleaning up can be a game!" Bart has a better game, "It's called 'Whippin' cupcakes.'"

With Lisa, she watches an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon called Reservoir Cats, with guest director Quention Tarantino. This is my favorite Itchy and Scratchy cartoon!

In a scene parodying "Reservoir Dogs," Scratchy is tied up and gagged on a chair. Itchy tortures him by dousing the hapless cat in gasoline while Steal Wheeler's "Stuck in the Middle With You" plays. Itchy then gets out a switch blade and leaps onto Scratchy. The camera then pans to another part of the set. I kind of wish another gangster was seen bleeding to death as well, like in the movie.

After Itchy cuts off Scratchy's ear, Quentin Tarantino makes a cameo. He says, "What I'm trying to say in this cartoon is that violence is everywhere in our society, y'know; It's even like in breakfast cereals, man!" Itchy then beheads Tarantino, and he and Scratchy dance like Mia Wallace and Vinnie Vega in Pulp Fiction while a rendition of Misirlou plays.

Lisa laughs at the cartoon, and Shari has to remind her that there are other things you can do out of watching television all day. Lisa isn't interested in going outside. Shari then suggests the two "have a tea party under the ceiling." When Lisa denies this, Shari is heartbroken and says the Simpson spawn will be the death of her.

The next few days, Shari becomes a drunk and she and Barney sing a duet of Margaritaville. Barney then finds his lost shaker of salt.

Heh, when I went to guitar lessons a few years ago, that was one of the songs we learned, and I couldn't stop thinking of that scene.

The Simpson family feel guilty over what they had done, so Marge goes down to talk to Shari.

Marge: Shary, you did the best you could, but you can't change this family and neither can I. From now on, I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the ride.

Shary Bobbins: But haven't I taught you people anything?

Homer: No.

Lisa No.

Bart: No.

Marge: No.

Maggie: (suck suck suck)

Shary Bobbins: So you like it this way?

Homer: Indubitably.

(The last song starts)

Around the house, I never lift a finger. As a husband and father, I'm subpar. I'd rather drink a beer Than win Father of the Year. I'm happy with things the way they are.

Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed.

Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car.

Marge: The house is still a mess And I'm going bald from stress.

Marge, Bart and Lisa: But we're happy just the way we are.

(Shari and The Simpsons march outside and continue their song.)

Flanders: They're not perfect, But the Lord says, "Love thy neighbor."

Homer: Shut up, Flanders!

Flanders: Okely-dokely-doo.

Shary Bobbins: Don't think it's sour grapes, But you're all a bunch of apes, And so I must be leaving you!

(She gets her umbrella from Abe, and she flies off.)

Bart and Lisa: Goodbye, Shary Bobbins.

Marge: Thanks for everything.

Barney Gumble: So long, Superman.

Lisa: (to Homer) Do you think we'll ever see her again?

Homer: I'm sure we will, honey.

(Contrary to his statement, she gets killed by a plane.)

I'm sure we will.

THE END

My thoughts: After I REALLY watched Mary Poppins, I can totally understand this episode now.