Trouble in Israel! Oh, uh, wait, no, not that kind of trouble, jeez, no, sorry. It’s just that Bar Refaeli, known supermodel and onetime main squeeze of master pretender Leonardo DiCaprio, is under investigation for tax evasion in Israel. According to the AP Refaeli and her mother were “briefly detained” today, following a “months-long investigation.” Both Refaeli and her mother are not allowed to leave the country for six months, while authorities sort through issues regarding taxes on unreported income, a luxury apartment, and some cars.
The car thing is interesting. The AP writes that, according to authorities, “Refaeli didn't report the free Range Rover and Lexus cars she received from car companies in exchange for published photos of herself with the cars.” Which is a pretty fancy problem to have! Can you imagine that being your problem?
I mean, the millions of dollars of unreported income, and the property taxes on a luxury Tel Aviv apartment, sure. Those are some crazy, high-class problems. But not telling the tax man about the free Range Rover and Lexus you were given? That is a problem that very, very few people in this world have. “Wait which free car are you talking about?” is a question that not many people have ever asked anybody, let alone the Israeli tax people. And then to follow that up with, “Oh the Lexus? I thought you meant the Range Rover,” is so beyond the realm of anything that probably 99.9 percent of human beings on this planet have ever said that it’s almost hysterical.
We should not laugh at Bar Refaeli’s, or her mother’s, troubles, obviously. That’s serious business, and of course they should pay what they owe and the tax people should treat them fairly. But for those of us who don’t happen to have a garage full of luxury automobiles that we were given for taking a picture with the automobiles, this is, in its way, a very absurd story. Especially if you, uh, consider where this story is happening and how other people are living right nearby. But you know what? We’re not going to get into that here.
Anyway, we hope this all gets ironed out soon enough. In the meantime, folks, remember to report your free luxury items! Be they free cars, free boats, free helicopters, even free hoverboards! Report. It. All. Because you don’t want to someday be in the position of Bar Refaeli, sitting in some interrogation room, looking at photos of gleaming luxury S.U.V.s and saying, “Oh thooose free cars . . .” Because that’s just embarrassing.
