Look, we’re in peak summer. It’s hot. Everyone’s damp in their folds—even, we assume, Eva Mendes. We can’t know for sure what she's actually up to, but her social media shares the past few days have the vibe of someone flopped onto a couch with the AC blasting, a cold lemonade close at hand, and not a single excess ounce of energy left. No soul, just sweat. 

Mendes posted Thursday about her “mami summer life” on Threads, Instagram’s new “it’s like Twitter, but not Twitter?” offering. She lamented that “this summer was supposed to be like an easy—I was like, ‘bring boredom back!’” Not so much. The two daughters she shares with partner Ryan Gosling, 7-year-old Amada Lee and 8-year-old Esmeralda Amada, had other plans. “Things happen, and like the kids want to do certain classes and things,” she said in the video.

“Now I am just a chauffeur, like a water girl. It’s hot, so you know, I just bring them water,” she said. Another new job? “Wiper-downer.”

"I wipe them down because they're all sweaty all over each other," she said. "I just wanted to say that this summer of boredom that I had planned, [it] turned.”

While she presumably waited for the next time she’d be pressed into service as a wiper-downer or licensed driver to her tweens, she posted an Instagram carousel in tribute to Gosling, featuring throwback photos from The Place Beyond the Pines, the 2012 film where Gosling and Mendes met as co-stars.

“Mi Hombre. Mi Vida…To say he’s the greatest actor I’ve ever worked with is an understatement,” Mendes captioned the post. The first slide features a pullquote from Barbie director Greta Gerwig, who in a recent Rolling Stone interview said of Gosling, “It’s some combination of Marlon Brando meets Gene Wilder meets John Barrymore meets John Travolta.”

“Gracias to the brilliant and beautiful Greta Gerwig,” Mendes wrote.

Kid activities aside, she had to have known that when you’re in a relationship with Ken, neon couture and rollerblades all but guaranteed that summer 2023 wouldn’t be a boring one.